Are you discerning or searching?
Many single people are hoping to discover a more particular vocation and to make a lifelong commitment to marriage or priesthood or the consecrated life, but they are unsure about which one. Or they are clear about wanting to get married, but still looking for a husband or wife. Or they are dating and wondering if this is the right person.
If this is the case, you can follow all the suggestions on this web site about how to discern your vocation and how, at the right time, to come to a decision. OR a web site is anonymous so only God and you will know of your search – perhaps when you are ready you can take the next step : Confirming my Personal Discernment (see menu)
Remember that your happiness does not just lie in the future. God wants you to find peace and to live a life of holiness in this present moment, even if your future is unclear. He wants you to trust him: to do everything you can, but to be patient as well.
Are you struggling?
Some people are single not through choice but through circumstances. They wish they were not single, but they cannot see any way out:
- Perhaps you are not drawn to marriage, or unable to find a husband or wife.
- Perhaps you want to be a priest or live a consecrated life, but you have been ‘turned down’ by the diocese or religious order.
- Perhaps you are caring for a sick relative or a child and you are not able to take on any other commitments.
- Perhaps you are sick yourself. There may be other difficulties in your life that make you feel you cannot pursue the vocation you would like to.
- Or perhaps you have a valid marriage, but are now separated from your husband or wife, without any apparent hope of reconciliation or of being granted an annulment; so that your day-to-day life is like that of a single person, only without the possibility of entering into a new marriage.
In all these situations it is so important to trust in God and to believe that he knows what he is doing with your life. There may be very real suffering and disappointment involved, and you can certainly hope and pray that the situation will improve. But you also need to accept that this is God’s will for you in this present moment, to carry this cross with as much humility and love as is possible.
Don’t give in to despair or self-pity. Live your Catholic faith, and trust that this is happening for a reason.
Your vocation right now, without a doubt, is to show the love of Christ in these difficult circumstances. And through that love, if it is his will, he will lead you to a new stage, or help you to find new meaning in this present situation.